Streams of Consciousness Lead to Mud Puddles and Waterfalls.....

I am finishing up at school and waiting for some CDs to burn so I thought I'd write a short note. The last few months have been really rough and for reasons that I am still trying to wrap my brain around, I have been completely miserable. I've wavered between telling people of my misery to the point of worrying about losing the friends I have and keeping everything tucked neatly away inside until I have a complete melt down in the most random of places. Neither are good choices. I know that God has put me in this place for a reason - even if that reason is to come to a realization that I no longer belong here. I know that He doesn't give us things we can't handle. I also know that I am not handling any of this well...or right. I am so thankful for glimpses of peace and happiness and am sooooo excited about seeing both of those as well as three of my most favorite people on the planet this weekend. (5 if you count the Shanes!) I want to be thankful for the reason and spirit of this amazing season instead of allowing it to stress me to the point of being unable to enjoy or appreciate it! I am suddenly tired of being all things to some people and am anxious to discover who I have really become. Yet, that journey scares the crap out of me too. I want to become very excited about the changes that I hope are coming.

What I am ALREADY very excited about is the idea of seeing some of my very best friends and worshiping with them at tomorrow night's Shane and Shane concert. I am also super excited about celebrating Christmas with them! I can hardly wait to get there and see everyone and watch the opening of the presents! Anyone who knows me knows that I go a little crazy this time of year. I can be a little silly, but I love to watch people open gifts! I wrap some of the craziest things just so I can watch people open them! (I don't wrap single socks when giving a pair - I'm not that far gone, but I do very RARELY put more than one item in a package even if there is room! I like lots of gifts! :) It's just fun!!) So I spent the better part of last night wrapping presents that we will rip into over the next 36 hours and I can hardly wait to load the car and go! At first it was a little stressful to have Christmas so early. It kind of snuck up on me and I was worried about being ready, but I am so glad it is this weekend! Hopefully, I will remember to take many pictures and be able to preserve some of this goodness!!

Wow...this was kind of random in all ways, but that's where I am now! Enjoy!